20.9.17

The End of a Friendship

Since summer holidays 2016, I've felt more and more left out of your friendship group. We weren't invited along on summer holiday outings with the rest of the group, H and M not getting to play with their two friends. Once school started, I would stand in the playground next to you hearing you making plans for coffee after drop off, but the invitation would never be stretched my way. I have thought about using the schools wrap around care just so I don't have to be in the playground, over hear these plans and then be upset for the day for having been looked over.

Before the school summer holidays this year I made an effort to reconnect, having been in physcotherapy since before W came along, I hatched a plan with my therapist, invite your group round to mine regularly for coffee, but it seemed to make no difference.

Messaging you directly and always being told you're busy this day or that, but no alternative suggestions were made. My heart was sinking fast.

You're birthday non-invite was the straw that broke the camel's back, why should I be making all the effort, you didn't seem to want to be my friend any longer. So I decided, for the sake of my mental health, it would be best for me to stop trying and therefore stop being friends. I have deleted you and have taken the pressure off me.

I am sorry you're now having anxiety attacks in the playground. That's not my fault, that's your guilt. I am just going to keep to myself. You have your little gang to protect you, I will stand as far away as possible.

I feel sorry for our mutual friends, but I'm not asking them to take sides. I really hope you don't either.

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