The End of a Friendship

Since summer holidays 2016, I've felt more and more left out of your friendship group. We weren't invited along on summer holiday outings with the rest of the group, H and M not getting to play with their two friends. Once school started, I would stand in the playground next to you hearing you making plans for coffee after drop off, but the invitation would never be stretched my way. I have thought about using the schools wrap around care just so I don't have to be in the playground, over hear these plans and then be upset for the day for having been looked over.

Before the school summer holidays this year I made an effort to reconnect, having been in physcotherapy since before W came along, I hatched a plan with my therapist, invite your group round to mine regularly for coffee, but it seemed to make no difference.

Messaging you directly and always being told you're busy this day or that, but no alternative suggestions were made. My heart was sinking fast.

You're birthday non-invite was the straw that broke the camel's back, why should I be making all the effort, you didn't seem to want to be my friend any longer. So I decided, for the sake of my mental health, it would be best for me to stop trying and therefore stop being friends. I have deleted you and have taken the pressure off me.

I am sorry you're now having anxiety attacks in the playground. That's not my fault, that's your guilt. I am just going to keep to myself. You have your little gang to protect you, I will stand as far away as possible.

I feel sorry for our mutual friends, but I'm not asking them to take sides. I really hope you don't either.


September 2012

Hamish found the very old trampoline in out garden.

August 2012

Hamish and Tim playing with the computer :-)



Cropped version of group photo we had taken with all the other NCT babies (unfortunately it had me in too).


This is not a photo- jobs and careers

I was pondering this morning. I had the opportunity to return to full time education in September, but I won't be. Setting a side the financial implications of it, I chose not to. Why not, because I wasn't really ready to leave Hamish, I know he'll be 10 months old, but he is only now starting to get interesting- I'll be truthful here, the first 6 months, not only are very hard work, but they are bloody boring.

However, if in September, I had been offered my dream job, land management for nature conservation purposes (with half an hour or less journey time), then it may have been a different story.  So I will continue doing OU stuff and staying at home with the baby (plus all the voluntary work I do) until I can get my dream job or Hamish is in school (lets face it if he is out of the house everyday, there is no reason why I can't be).

Don't worry, photos will return soon.


June 2012

Camera, that's interesting.

May 2012

SAGGA boxes- very interesting.

April 2012

Watching the IPL.

March 2012

Meeting cousins.

February 2012

Meeting friends.

January 2012

The excitement of the play arch.

December 2011

Afternoon nap at Granny and Granddad's.

November 2011

Meeting Uncle Malcy.

October 2011

Cuddles with Daddy.


Nearly time....


37 weeks- check
birth pool- check
gublins to go with birth pool- check
box of stuff from midwife- check
small clothes for baby- check
large clothes for me- check
TENS machine- check
biscuits for midwifes- check
snacks/drinks for Tim and me- check
Lots of other stuff- check

Have I forgotten anything?