27.3.06

While Shepherds washed their socks at night...

First things first. Tomorrow is my first ever strick. I haven't decided whether to stand on the picket line or not. I suspect that I will spend tomorrow doing stuff for my guide warrent as Kipper and I will have full control of the unit in September and so the need for having it is more urgent.

I have noticed something wierd. My given names are Amy Rosemary and my little brother's are Malcolm Andras. My bestist friend is called Rosemary while one of Malc's bestist friends is called Andras.

I have fiddled with some of my links. I little warning is that Safe as F**k ain't very parental/work friendly at the moment.

I have been thinking wedding presents/clothes/hats and shoes. I am going to recycle two skirts and tops between all four I think. Different combinations. I will just have to find some summer shoes to wear.

I am not fantastically happy here in Ipswich. I don't have the back up that I really need. I am much more fragile than people think. I was very close to punching my boss or resigning on Friday. I did neither. I must last at least a year. I have started looking round for other work. I am thinking of returning to education. Maybe an MSc or a PGCE. I am not sure though.

posted by Amy @ 16:16 3 Comments

14.3.06

Prince Philip, he's a laugh....

The All Time Classics"You managed not to get eaten, then?" (To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea)

"It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." (Referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory near Edinburgh)

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (Amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting)

"You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (To a Briton in Budapest, Hungary)

"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." (To young deaf people in Cardiff, referring to a school's steel band)

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (To a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland)

"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." (At the height of the recession)

"It was part of the fortunes of war. We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun, asking `are you all right - are you sure you don't have a ghastly problem?’ You just got on with it." (Commenting on stress counselling for servicemen)

"We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves."(On Canada)

"If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." (At a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting)

"Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease". (When asked if he would like to stroke a koala bear).

"Do you still throw spears at each other?" (To an Aborigine leader)

posted by Amy @ 10:05 1 Comments

12.3.06

I have had a crap week. I had tried all week not the cry. I nearly made it but didn't. I ended up in tears on Friday night. Its complicated and I don't think I can blog what pushed me over the edge.

Anyway. Blokes in work sent me some amusing things so I will blog them in true "meme" style:

Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS:

SAFER:

SAFEST:

ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner?

Can I help you with dinner?

Where would you like to go for dinner?

Here, have some chocolate.

Are you wearing that?

Wow, you sure look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some chocolate

What are you so worked up about?

Could we be overreacting?

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some chocolate.

Should you be eating that?

You know, there are a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

Here, have some chocolate.

What did you DO all day?

I hope you didn't over-do it today.

I've always loved you in that robe!

Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Midsection
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one ..
13. Potential Murder Suspect

And remember: Money talks ... but Chocolate SINGS!!!

MEMO: IT SYSTEM UPGRADE

Dear All,
As part of our on going cost-cutting exercise, we are
proposing a major change to our Desktop policy and a further
move towards a recycling and paperless office. The goal is to
remove all laptop computers by March 2006 and all desktop
computers by April 2006.

Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch.
Technical Justification:
1. No boot-up problems
2. No technical glitches keeping work from b eing done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.
4. No more worries about power cuts.
5. Budget savings on upgrades unparalleled
6. No danger of viruses and worms infecting our data.

Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the
screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same
color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my
Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

Regards,
IT Department.

posted by Amy @ 11:09 2 Comments

6.3.06

I remembered what I forgot: £16 for a bottle of wine. It was lovely too. Not sure that is going to happen often though.

I overed heard an interesting sort of bragging t'other day: "I have this friend who is really rich"

posted by Amy @ 21:30 0 Comments

This weekend I've been to Dundee, danced every dance at the Music Society Ball, spent £64 in fopp (genius shop that it is, 3 Bjork, 1 Beth Orton, 1 Natasha Beddingfield, 2 Specials, 1 SFA, 1 Alanis (I will defo be investing in a new and larger CD rack) plus Napolian Dynomite and Animal Farm on DVD). The I went to Edinburgh and stayed with Eric and Gillian in their wee flat, which is nice, they are funny, definately have married couple tendancies. We went to see Syriana, which is an alright film, very political. It made me not like America even more than I did already. State assassination is not alright.

I am sure there was something else I wanted to say but I have forgot.

posted by Amy @ 20:32 0 Comments

1.3.06

I found this:

University of Dundee for Design rationale of corporate identity
'The geometric foundation of the design is based upon a circular form, which makes reference to the Institution's global perspective and international reputation in teaching and research. The typographic elements demonstrate a hierarchy which promotes the importance of the location within the nomenclature. The group of circles represents the incremental growth of knowledge and experience and the progressive development of the University as an educational leader. This thematic device continues through to the linear band on the right of the Shield of Arms and describes the cyclical movement of time, indicating progression and new directions.'

on the Plain English Campaign website under the golden bull in the award section. Dundee got it in 2001.

posted by Amy @ 10:40 1 Comments