Anyway. Blokes in work sent me some amusing things so I will blog them in true "meme" style:
Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
| DANGEROUS: | SAFER: | SAFEST: | ULTRA SAFE: |
| What's for dinner? | Can I help you with dinner? | Where would you like to go for dinner? | Here, have some chocolate. |
| Are you wearing that? | Wow, you sure look good in brown! | WOW! Look at you! | Here, have some chocolate |
| What are you so worked up about? | Could we be overreacting? | Here's my paycheck. | Here, have some chocolate. |
| Should you be eating that? | You know, there are a lot of apples left. | Can I get you a glass of wine with that? | Here, have some chocolate. |
| What did you DO all day? | I hope you didn't over-do it today. | I've always loved you in that robe! | Here, have some more chocolate. |
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Midsection
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one ..
13. Potential Murder Suspect
And remember: Money talks ... but Chocolate SINGS!!!
MEMO: IT SYSTEM UPGRADE
Dear All,
As part of our on going cost-cutting exercise, we are
proposing a major change to our Desktop policy and a further
move towards a recycling and paperless office. The goal is to
remove all laptop computers by March 2006 and all desktop
computers by April 2006.
Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch.
Technical Justification:
1. No boot-up problems
2. No technical glitches keeping work from b eing done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.
4. No more worries about power cuts.
5. Budget savings on upgrades unparalleled
6. No danger of viruses and worms infecting our data.
Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the
screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same
color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my
Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.
Regards,
IT Department.
2 Comments:
love the hormone hostage - i shall direct paul to that!!
hang in there - i'm sur things will work themselves out somehow - have a theoretical hug from me xx
Thank you for the etch a sketch thing...made me smile. We've been having some interesting IT issues at work, and an etch a sketch would solve many of the problems! Think of the electric savings!
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