30.6.06

I am sure I have seen this before, I may have even posted it before but it made me smile when I read it this morning. Thanks to Stevie B for it.

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

posted by Amy @ 11:42 3 Comments

26.6.06

I only ask for minimum wage plus expensis.

I can Sew- curtains, cussion covers, trousers, dresses, skirts etc. Do you want something made from scratch or just mended, I can help.

I can decorate. I can turn up and do as I am ordered or I can provide design advice. I can do most basic P and D skills.

I can baby sit. Years of experience.

I can cat sit (thanks for suggesting that Wend).

I can clean- not managed to spring clean for a while... I can do it "how clean is your house" stylie...

posted by Amy @ 16:08 1 Comments

24.6.06

So after not being very happy in Ipswich for a while, I have handed in my notice. My last day in the office is the 21st of July and I am owed 2.5 days holiday (which has been turned into 3 coz my boss can't be bothered) so I will be getting paid to be on SAGGA camp!!!!

I have no plans for the future, Amy's sewing beautequie will be re opening it's doors as will my Painting and Decorating company and Baby sitting service. No job too small! I am going to see if I can get a job for a couple of days a week to help me cover my car costs.

I don't know what I want to do or where I want to do it... Been looking at re-entering education and doing i a bit of volentry work. However, I would like to spend August reading the books I got for my Birthday and Christmas and have been sitting in a pile since.

posted by Amy @ 14:43 1 Comments

11.6.06

For those of you interested...
Colin has a blog!

I am sun burnt. I went to watch little peoples cricket and got asked to score, I made sure I was in the shade for the whole match and so didn't think about sun cream. I now how red shoulders (left hand side mainly) and red boobs. I think my choice of clothing may have been better though! Oh well I suppose if I am to get sun burnt it is better to get it over and done with!

posted by Amy @ 20:23 2 Comments

5.6.06

A meme I got sent in work today

DEPT OF TRANSPORT INITIATIVE RE-LAUNCHED, MAY 2006.

Information Release.

In response to the deteriorating standards of the quality of driving in England the Department of Transport has now devised a new scheme in order to identify poor drivers and give good drivers the opportunity to recognize them whilst driving.


For this reason from May 2006 new regulations will be in force to identify those drivers who are found to be driving badly. The criteria will include such activities such as:

-overtaking in dangerous places;
-hovering within one inch of the car in front;
-stopping sharply;
-speeding in residential areas;
-pulling out without indication;
-performing U turns inappropriately in busy high streets;
-under taking on motorways
-taking up more than one lane in multi lane roads,

These drivers will be issued with flags, white with a red cross, to signify their inability to drive properly. These flags must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and pedestrians.


Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to display a flag on each side of the car to indicate their greater lack of skill and general lower intelligence to the general public.

Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can so that drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of these flags.

Department of Transport.

posted by Amy @ 20:49 0 Comments

Rant alert...

Homophobic attitutes irritate me a lot. The big question seems to be nature verus nurture. I believe that there isn't a choice over whether you are gay or not, it isn't like religion more akin to race. Would you consider not voting for someone because of the colour of their skin (or religion), I would hope not so why should their sexual orientation come into it? If you are a Gay Tory do your politics views and value differ for someone who is a Straight Tory?

posted by Amy @ 20:23 0 Comments

3.6.06

So last weekend was the start of my "half term."

Saturday morning we were woken at six by "daddy can I open my presents?" and that was the start of a long day which saw us returning home at 01:30 in the morning. A FANTASTIC wedding was attended. The bride looked fantastic and the groom not so bad himself. Congratulations again Mad and Rob!

Monday I had more exciting news, Hugh has got engaged to Jo but sadly, they wont be getting married at the world Jambouree as suggested but I date will be made in 2008.

Monday was also a trip to the cricket. I had a fun time and I think Tim enjoyed his first professional match. However, Dan wasn't impressed by our sightly inain conversation (Liz was very interested in many bums).

The plan for the rest of the week had been to cycle down to a place called West Dean in West Sussex, however it didn't quite work out. We have done a wee bit of cycling around the Coltswolds (I have a sore bum) and we ended up doing DIY/house sorting.

posted by Amy @ 11:16 0 Comments